Nice room, although maybe a bit too small.
I put my things away; there aren't very many.
Pulling the table closer, I adjust the light.
My friends say HI when I call them.
Here's dinner... well, ok...
I turn on the TV, but there's not much to see.
It's evening and dark outside.
A few people stop to visit... great.
I am tired and want to sleep.
Morning already! Blood is drawn, medical visits...
Here's the bag... the chemo.
I feel ok... for now.
I'd think of something else, but what?
The infusion flows downward... and so do I.
There's a strand of hair on the pillow.
Closing my eyes, I sleep.
I open them, and was not sleeping.
The chemo has finished.
Dinner, here's the tray.
I'm not hungry; maybe later though.
Now, there is a knot in my stomach.
I look outside, where it's already dark.
My heart beats, and everything is silent.
The machine is slowing down...
I am thin and hairless.
My skin is gray.
Moving exhausts me.
Immobile.
Silent.
I am.
I...
...
Dawn.
Light.
Eyes.
I move a finger.
And close a fist.
Then turn on my side.
It's day outside: there's the sun.
Slowly, I move the sheets.
And stretch my arms and legs. I'm awake.
I'm not hungry, but have to eat...
I try a cookie... then put it down.
My heart beat is accelerating, I can hear it.
Pushing, I sit up.
Using my arms to support me.
My head is a heavy weight.
My legs are thin, and I stare at them.
I'm still here.
I fight and won't give up.
I never imagined having so much strength, and I admit that.
I well remember my condition.
But now it has passed.
They've returned for a visit... great.
Dinner? Well, not yet.
I turn on the TV... then turn it off.
Night time, and I sleep.
I fall, precipitating... but it was a dream.
Awake again... it's dawn.
Today I can do it!
I arise and drag myself to the mirror.
I barely recognize myself.
They pass by with some tea; perhaps I can hold it down. I try.
Taking the telephone, I say hello to friends.
Here I am again world, still here.
Lunch today... yes.
I raise the bed until I am seated upright.
I breathe deeply.
It's not finished, no it's not.
One step has been taken.
Now for another!
